Sunday, February 19, 2012


image:  Mary Anne Potter


The place you thought you were, was an illusion.
The pictures on the walls were lovingly created inside your mind,
tended with care and the light whisper of your fingers upon them.
Now, you see the dreams have shattered, leaving sharp pieces on the floor
where you step on them by mistake, and open a new wound.

The walls behind which you carry out your little life,
did not shelter you when the storm came, nor keep you safe.
This farm to which you came, so filled with hope and life,
has stripped that hope from you with each passing day,
and mocked you as it stood in defiance of your effort.

Dark tendrils grew, spreading decay that eclipsed the light,
a sharp talon that pulled away the cocoon of comfort and warmth
leaving you bare and cold, alone in the night,
save for a bundle of photographs tied with a red ribbon
as a reminder of your folly.

Writing prompt from the creative writing blog
Imaginary Garden with Real Toads

I wrote this poem today to mark the passing of a chapter of my life.  Richard has decided not to continue with our relationship, and I am struggling to make sense of what lies ahead.  The reasons I left Iowa, returned to Canada, and started a fresh life, have been unceremoniously ripped from me, one by one.  I am cast adrift, and do not know where my boat will land.  It is a dark time indeed.


Flartus said...

Oh Claire! I don't know what to say. If only an internet hug were as good as the real thing; if only I could help clean the chicken coop or fix up the next room in the house.

I hope that having your parents nearer than in Iowa will give you an anchor.

Bon courage, ma chère, bon courage!

Mimi Foxmorton said...

I love this...and much.........

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful piece of writing from the soul. It's so healing to write when you are hurt. Blessings. I too love you. :-)

Michelle said...

Claire, you have faced so many challenges in the last few years and yet, overall, you have kept your chin up and your nose to the grindstone. I have no suggestions, no answers, only an aching heart on your behalf. Your cyberfriends are always here, the one constant (besides your wonderful parents!).

fullfreezer said...

Hugs from Iowa.

Marigold said...

Oh, Claire. There are no words. I, too, am glad your parents are close. But you know, it will all work out somehow. It is hard to believe, but we are somehow always in the exact place we are meant to be. Just remember that old saying that is so true - when one door closes, another opens. And one will open for you. I know it. And you can trust me on that, because I am a very wise goat. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

Pricilla said...

I wish words could solve everything for you.
We send goat hugs.

Becky Utecht said...

I agree with Marigold. It doesn't make the parting any easier, but we have to believe that we are always in the place we are meant to be. Life is full of unexpected turns, lessons to be learned. You are a strong and amazingly creative and intelligent woman, Claire. Hugs.

Nancy K. said...

Your poem is so perfect. So tragic. I know how much it hurts to dream big and watch it crumble. Your situation was so UNFAIR! So beyond your control.

But isn't that true for us all? If we knew the future, we'd never take the missteps. But think of all the adventures we'd miss.

My heart breaks for you Claire. I'm sending you big hugs and lots of love. I hope you can feel it! I'm sorry you have to go through this again and I will be here for and with you for whatever comes next.

Please know that YOU. ARE. LOVED.

Lin said...

Oh, my dear new friend, I'm so very sorry to hear you are hurting! We are here for you as you find your way. We'll listen to your heart, we'll laugh and cry with you, and we'll cheer you on as you move ahead. We do it because we are your friends. :)

Sending love, hugs, and strength.

thecrazysheeplady said...

Oh Claire. Big hug. You WILL land on your feet. I know. Anyone who can write a poem so heartbreakingly beautiful...

BlueGryphon said...

Well written n' expressed, Claire! So sad that it's a reflection of yer present condition. Truly I hope for this to change, big pirate hugs from this pirate scoundrel!

Cloverleaf Art and Fibre said...

I can only echo the comments above, and add my blessings. One aching step at a time will get you through.

Texan said...

I don't know what to say, everyone else has expressed what I am sure all who have read your blog for anytime would say. You have been through so much. I send good thoughts and wishes your way.

goatfarmer said...

It will be ok.

dizzylettuce said...

Claire, Marti & I & critters send our loving & Light to you!!

dizzylettuce said...

Claire, Marti & I send our loving & loads of Light to you.

Spinners End Farm said...

Claire, you are a dear one, never forget it.

Creating beauty out of chaos is a gift for you my dear, though none the less painful. I hope you find some solace in it and thank you for blessing the rest of us with your creativity.

The fates sometimes seem so cruel, but where one thread it cut another one is spun and we all know how good you are at spinning.


Spinners End Farm said...

Claire, you are a dear one, never forget it.

Creating beauty out of chaos is a gift for you my dear, though none the less painful. I hope you find some solace in it and thank you for blessing the rest of us with your creativity.

The fates sometimes seem so cruel, but where one thread it cut another one is spun and we all know how good you are at spinning.


I need orange said...

I am so sorry.

It always sucks when our plans and intentions are struck down.

Thoughtful writing about a calamity is an indication of fortitude. It shows possession of vital resources, shining when called upon, despite dark times.

The image of the dream-shards cutting your feet unexpectedly is very powerful and moving.

Sending you some imaginary flipflops, to protect your feet. They are bright green, because spring will come, and are light in weight, so they don't hamper your steps. I'll include some silly bright-striped socks (the Japanese kind, meant to be worn with flipflop-shaped footwear) to keep your feet warm.

Chai Chai said...

Your writing was heartfelt and the pain clearly shows. I can't match you brilliant work but maybe I can shine some light for you.

Sometimes the darkness comes in heavy thick waves,
It suffocates our thoughts and brings cold to our days,
A constant shadow companion - cold as a wraith,
And the only weapon we wield is the strength of our faith,
Faith and hope to carry on when all seems lost,
They ease the crosses that we bare and perseverance is the only cost,
The road may seem long with danger looming around each bend,
But with guidance from above you'll find peace in the end.

Ann W. said...

How can your friends best help and show you support?

Claire the Shepherdess said...

Just knowing that I have friends, that they're listening, and that they think of me sometimes, is a great help and support. As it is so often said, "this too shall pass," and I know that's true, but right now, it's just so raw and jarring for me, that sometimes I can't see that brightness that may lay ahead. So, thanks for being there. xox

Apifera Farm said...

Claire, I was absolutely devastated some 10 years ago by a man that literally abandoned me and my home in Mpls. I thought we were lifers. I realized I had created him, but it was a reality based on my own fiction. I really mourned...and then I moved to Oregon, and you know what happened. I was 43. I can look back now and see the things I had with the former person weren't real, but that the outcome was inevitable and I knew it all a long - deep deep down. He didn't deserve one day of my light. I have none of that fear now. The things Martyn does for me, and with me, are solid and real. The other person was along for a ride to check out the scenery and hope for the best. You will move on - and maybe the scar will stay awhile, but it will teach you and maybe your inner voice is stronger now to guide and protect you from your own enthusiasm. SOmeone once told me [in regard to meeting new people], approach it like a dog- do a lot of sniffing and assessing first. I am sorry though, it must be very hard and glad you have family near. Hang in there!