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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

All Things Goaty!

I'm back!  Oh my word, I know it has been a long time since I have blogged.  In fact, some of you may be crying, or even gnashing your teeth with anxiety, wondering what I have been doing.  I, Lucky Nickel, have been organizing things.  Oh yes, it is one of my special talents.  I have many special talents of course, but I can inspire other goats into action.  As it happens, I was visiting a favourite goat blog - by Millie at Eden Hills - and she said that there was "a movement across the goat farming world" and of course, I had to be a part of the movement.  It's possible I started the movement myself...I mean, I'm such a trendsetter...sometimes I start things without even realizing it.  Anyway, I needed to be more involved, since I am a model for other goats.

Yes, so this movement is apparently about goats standing up for peace.  I asked my lady, "Standing up for a piece of what?  Pie??" and she rolled her eyes at me and said "Lucky Nickel, not THAT kind of piece."  Then she furrowed her eyebrows and said "In any event, you are too fat, and may not have pie."
Can you imagine?  She called me fat!  I am not fat!  I am fluffy!  In addition, I have to live outside, or at least in the barn, and the winter is coming, so I need to be well insulated.  Fat....harrumph!!!

I felt it was my duty, then, to have the rest of the goats on the farm all stand up for a piece of pie, errr...I mean, stand up for peace.  So, I told them to do so, and they kind of stood around in a confused group, not being sure what to do.  Sometimes, I really wonder about my fellow caprines.  What is so difficult about standing up for peace?  I had to show them the picture of Marley over at Eden Hills, doing the stand up thing.  I had to stand up myself, even, to show them how to do it, because there was a deep-seated reluctance in the group to do anything at all other than eat and sleep and produce goat berries.  Not the saltiest peanuts in the bag, these goats...

After I did some more explaining, finally, the little goat brain light bulbs began a slow but sputtering glow.  The only way I could manage to encourage them was through the use of some strategically placed attractant.  Here you can see, from left to right, Lotus, Horton and Coffee standing up for peace.  I am in the very front of the picture, just a little bit (accidentally of course) because I had to coordinate the whole event.
After that initial success, we had multiple standing up for peace moments.  Coffee and Horton were really good at it.  My lady said Horton was looking fat too.
Then Lotus managed a semi-standing with Coffee while Horton took a rest.  She can't get as tall as Coffee because Coffee has long gangly Nubian type legs.  Not really something I covet, but she does stand well.
Horton did another stand that I thought was really very energetic and possibly even verging on goat ballet, kind of like Isobelle does, but my lady said "Look at his belly!!" and ruined the artistic moment for me.
Then Misky became distracted by Horton's lovely fybur (yes, that is the correct goat spelling) and there was a loss of focus on the standing matter, and Horton just wanted to show off.
So he pranced about wiggling so that his fybur would look extra curly and special.  That of course made my lady get distracted from the standing too, because she went all googly-eyed over Horton and his fybur and started mumbling incoherently about socks and knitting needles.  I know Horton doesn't want any needles because they are pokey.  If you look at this picture below, and click on it, it will be bigger, and you can see his little curly bits.
So by that point the whole group was off balance and nobody was standing properly and my lady had to go see to the llamas.  She said she would be back in a while, and I had to sit around supervising the other goats because they were so wired about standing and fybur and eating pie and everything.

My lady spent excessive amounts of time cooing over the llamas and giving them neck rubs and other unfair attention, because really it should be lavished upon me, but that is another matter entirely.  She finally came back and I saw her coming over in the oncoming darkness, and I alerted her to a non-conforming behavior.  She was a little confused as she stumbled over in the darkness, nearly tripping on blades of grass and other great distractions.
As she got closer, she saw the infraction for herself.
Misky and Larke were standing on TOP of the goat hut.  Definitely not a sanctioned activity.  The more astute observer would see that they were not alone!
Indeed, they immediately blamed the interloper, and said that he had coerced them into this folly.
At that point, he looked rather affronted and flew out of the goat pen.  Misky and Larke just stood on top of the hut, which is only covered with a tarp, looking sheepish.  Well, goatish, but in a sheepish way.
At that point, Horton and Lotus had to distract my lady by standing up for peace again, or at least doing their best to stand up for something.
Opal got so excited that she couldn't figure out what to do (she gets confused easily) and started doing neck rolls for peace instead.
It's so embarrassing when I am the only smart goat on the farm and I have to watch this sort of thing.
My lady said she thought we'd done quite well with our standing up, at which point I was the one rolling my eyes because she really doesn't have very high standards if she thought this was sufficient.
So I'll be back in the barn, laying on a hay bale, available for consultations or anything else you might need.  Just don't ask me to organize a group of goats.  They're not worth the trouble.

10 comments:

Millie said...

I think you did an admirable job of organizing goats. We are way to independent to be easily organized like sheep.

Thanks so much for the nice shout out!

Nancy K. said...

NECK ROLLS FOR PEACE!!! ROFLMBO

IsobelleGoLightly said...

HI Lucky Nickel!! You are a great organizer! I'm going to try to do that with my gang here. The only problem is when Durin and Dayel stand up they are taller than my lady! I also like the slogan, "FLUFFY, NOT FAT!" Horton does...er...look like he has a bit of a belly though but that way there is more fybur for your lady! I love those curly bits! I tried concentrating really hard to pop out curly bits on my fur but only succeeded in letting out a little poot at my rear end - oops. hee hee

Spinners End said...

The T's at our farm are a bit on the fluffy side too...even with their fybur sheared off! The waddles waddle and so does the midsection. I believe that Tea and least would be willing to participate in the "neck rolls for peace" movement. If there are pumpkins involved anyway.

Flartus said...

Oh my, Lucky Nickel, this is the most...entertaining account of life with goats I think I have ever read. That standing up for peace sounds like a good way to keep goats out of trouble. For about 10 minutes, anyway. I'm glad your lady has time to help document your leadership activities.

And I think your fybur looks lovely, too.

Pricilla said...

I think you all stood up for peace very well.

Jennifer said...

You and your friends are just too cute! really enjoyed this post!

Paige Madison said...

Great job, Lucky Nickel. The world is a better place because of you. I don't know much about fybur, but it looks pretty impressive.

Texan said...

Thank you for reminding us here at Clearwater Ranch we had not yet put up our photo to participate in this great goat movement of standing up for peace. We now have our photo up as well!

You guys did a great job with your stand up!

Mom L said...

Lucky Nickel, I have missed you! Beautiful peace movements! I've also been gone. I had to send Emma, the beautiful Calico queen, to the kitty hotel for 3.5 weeks while I travelled back to the Southeast, and she was very happy to see me when I picked her up this week. She would have been happier staying with you. I thought of you and your Lady Claire as I came through Des Moines from PA on the home stretch of my trip, but have been too sick (can you say, "sinus infection?") to catch up on your blog.

Nancy in Iowa