Monday, August 9, 2010
My human has gone soft in the head...
It's me again. Lucky Nickel! But now, I'm not sure how lucky I am. The hens and I are consulting about a situation that happened today. I think my human has gone soft in the head. It could be serious. Let me tell you what happened that has led to my suspicions.
Today, it was very hot out. Really sticky hot, like a rotting zucchini in the sun. But hotter.
The human came outside to give everybody some additional water, because everybody was really thirsty today. That part was normal. She went around with the hose like she usually does, and talked to everybody a little bit. She especially talked to me, and patted me on the head. I like that.
Some of the water containers are bigger than others. That means the human has to stand around in the shade waiting for the water to fill up to the top. I noticed that she was looking a little sticky herself. Not quite like the rotting zucchini, but sort of red in the face and she was getting a bit drippy on her forehead. It's not very ladylike you know. I, being a beautiful small goat, do not get drippy on my forehead. My white fur enables me to repel all the sun's rays and I stay beautiful and demurely dry at all times. Not so with my human.
I tried to help her, because I could sense her distress. It's best, when the human is sticky, to lick the back of her knees.
I don't like ticks so I don't know why she thinks it has anything at all to do with ticks. Anyway, like I said, she might be soft in the head.
So then the human filled the duck pond. She was standing there, watching the ducks do their thing in the pond. I don't go into the pond. It is not befitting a goat of my status.
That's when it happened. She said "This heat is not fit for man nor beast." I know that's what she said, I had my ears up. I looked around. So did the chickens.
I tell you, in all sincerity, there was no man there. And definitely, there was no beast. Do you think we have a beast? I haven't seen one. I'm a bit worried about this because we do have the woods, and there might be a beast in there, but I'm fairly sure it was just that my human was hallucinating.
And then....oh it's so embarrassing...I'm not even sure if I should tell you. She looked at the duck pond, and looked at the hose in her hand, and looked at the duck pond again....and then...oh dear....she just turned the hose around and sprayed herself with it all over, until she was absolutely dripping wet. And you know what...she laughed! She stood there, playing under the hose, and laughing. I looked carefully again for any sign of a man or a beast, in case she was trying to scare them away by making them think she was a lunatic, but there was nothing. She stood there and stuck the hose straight into her face and tipped her head back and ran it down her neck and back and then she said "Ahhh....that's better" and walked over and shut off the hose.
That's when I knew. The heat had cooked her head. Please send help. I'm not sure if we'll get fed tomorrow.