Called to Order: Second Meeting of SLICE (Secret Llama Intelligence Collection Enterprise).
Time: Tuesday Dec. 16, snowing, windy, 9 am.
Previous Minutes: here
Present: Cabernet, Hazel, Lilly, Rosco, also Guest Speaker Mr. Xander N. Goat
Also the presence of a two-legged creature with the same small black box was noted. We feigned a lack of interest at its presence. The creature points the small black box at us and it makes a small beep noise. Sometimes it emits a flash of light. We are truly baffled.
SLICE was honoured today to welcome Mr. Xander Nubian Goat to the meeting, hereinafter Xander. He provided an interesting exposé on some of the goings on at the farm. Having reviewed a copy of our last minutes, he felt there were some things he could impart to our organization, and we thank him for his valuable time and information.
First, Xander advised us of a grave error in our thinking. The two legged creatures with feathers are not guinea pigs. No indeed, they are called "chickens" and we are grateful to have learned this valuable information. This explains why the two-legged creatures call "chick-chick-chick" in the morning while holding a small scoop of seeds. We find it most unfair that the chickens are given all the seeds. Occasionally, the two-leggers seem to enjoy letting us have a few seeds. This is usually a ploy to allow them to touch our valuable fur so that they can conduct research on how to grow their own fur. We think the seeds and cracked corn are very yummy and should be our primary diet. We think the chickens may not be deserving. They are very silly creatures but the sheep seem well acquainted with them.
Second, Xander advised us that we may learn more from the two-leggers by pretending to be "lovable." This involves coming up to the fence when they approach and pretending to enjoy having our fur rubbed. It also involves sniffing at them and emulating what Xander calls "kisses" in order to ingratiate the two-leggers. We are not at all sure about this. We think we are above such behaviours and will consider how to incorporate other means of monitoring the two-leggers.
Finally, Xander advised us that they, the goats, do not really need to be herded by us, but they let us do it so that the two-leggers are amused and call them "cute" and give them extra feed. These goats are very wily and clever. We can learn much from their example.
Cabernet, Lilly and Hazel all welcomed Rosco to SLICE.
There was some consternation among the lady llamas, because Rosco is a male llama, and all the lady llamas were batting their eyelashes and carrying on during Rosco's introduction, such that it was hard to get a word in edgewise. Rosco appears unfazed by the attention. He reported on the outside world and the same white box with wheels that Lilly had arrived in. Xander advised that this is a "truck" and it is used for transporting us, as well as our hay. We have agreed that the truck is OK since it is used to bring hay. We remain somewhat suspicious of it, but have determined that we should not continue with our planning to crush it. Rosco reports having lived at a place called a "horse shelter" but he is not a horse, and is quite sure of that, because the horses smell entirely different and have big heads and very short fleece and he has no idea how they stay warm. He also reported a conversation when he was about to be transported that he was a "good deal for fifty bucks" and that the two-leggers were "glad to give him a good home." Rosco reports that he did not see any bucks at all, nor did he see any does, or even fawns, so he has no idea where the bucks are or why anyone would want 50 of them.
Lilly wanted to say how pleased she is with her new llama friends and how much she enjoys the camaraderie with the goats. Cabernet and Hazel are thrilled that she is with them and that she is enjoying her new home. Rosco said he was very excited to be here also. Lilly also reported the arrival of four new small creatures, who appear to be somewhat goat like, but she also thinks they might be sheep.
Lilly advised that she saw them arrive and that they were very grey and smelled terrible. She reports that over a short time, they suddenly smelled much better and were transformed into white creatures. This is very interesting and needs investigation. We will have a sheep guest speaker at our next meeting to comment.
Meeting adjourned due to snow starting to get heavy. Lady llamas jostling for best snuggling position beside Rosco. Xander returned to the goat herd. All is well.