Let's talk about eggs

No doubt many of you have heard the news by now - at least if you live in this part of the world.  Iowa's egg industry has been responsible for some really nasty illnesses lately.  Mind you, this is not a problem with my eggs!  No way!  I have been eating eggs from my hens for over 2 years now, and have never had any sort of gastro-intestinal problem. In fact, you know what?!  I keep my eggs ON THE COUNTER!  That's right - not in the refrigerator!  Oh, the shock!  The travesty!  The shame!!!

Let's take a minute, shall we....to learn about the egg-straordinary egg.

When a hen lays an egg, she deposits a layer of "mucoprotein" on the eggshell.  Mucoprotein?  Ewwww... what's that?!  It's a thin layer of protein composed of mucopolysaccharides!  Muco-what?  Ok, simply put, it's a layer that the hen's body deposits on the outside of the eggshell.  This protein layer protects the egg by preventing bacteria from entering through the pores (tiny holes) in the eggshell.  Mucopolysaccharides also exist in the fluid that keep your knees working properly!  They are entirely safe and healthy!  Sometimes, this layer is referred to as the "bloom" on the egg.

Most of the time, the eggs you buy in the store have been washed, commercially, before you buy them.  Why?  Well, it would be dreadful to buy an egg with a little bit of hay on it, or, heaven forbid (!!) some chicken poop!  What happens when you wash the egg?  The protective layer of protein is washed away.  That means that bacteria are now free and clear to enter the eggshell pores.  Woohoo!  Bacteria party in egg number nine!

I don't wash my eggs.  I leave them alone, on the counter, with their bloom intact.  I gently brush off hay bits or feathers.  If an egg is really dirty, I gently wash it and put it in the fridge.  When I use an egg, from the counter, I wash it immediately before use.  This means that the egg is clean, and there is no way for surface contamination to affect the egg contents when I break it open.  It also means that bacteria have about a 30 second window, if that, to contaminate my egg.  Ha!  Fat chance!!  I have left eggs on the counter, at room temperature, for over a month.  No problems have occurred.

Did you know that in France, it is actually illegal to sell washed eggs?  That's because they know that washing the egg leads to a higher chance of contamination!  It's also a fact that in France, many people store their eggs on the counter-top, and not in the refrigerator.

So back to Iowa.  What's going on with those eggs anyway?  Well, I took a course in Animal Law earlier in the summer, so I can tell you exactly what's going on with those eggs.  First of all, the hens in the egg batteries in Iowa are kept in conditions that are apparently acceptable to the egg industry.  What sort of conditions are those, you might wonder?  Well, by law, they can be kept in cages that are stacked up to 4 levels in height.  That means that the hens on level 3 are pooped on by the hens on level 4.  It also means that the hens on level 2 are pooped on by the hens on levels 3 and 4.  Finally, the hens on the dreaded level 1, are pooped on by hens on levels 2, 3 and 4!  Those poor hens are often in cages that are so filthy and poop-filled that they get their legs stuck.  See the pale, floppy combs on these hens?  Not healthy.  Not at all normal.  They should be red and perky looking.  The bright red things you can see are plastic water drippers.

Furthermore, these hens are kept in cages that give them an "ample" amount of space, according to the poultry industry standard.  How much space is that, you might wonder?  Well, the amount of floor space per hen is less than a standard sheet of paper.  Seriously!  They have 67 square inches of floor space, for their entire lives, because apparently, that's all they "need."  Oh, and there are usually 6 of them per cage.  Slightly more than 8 by 8 inches.  Let me tell you, as someone who has kept chickens for a couple of years now, chickens need a lot more space than that.  They love to run, to flap their wings, to chase one another, to take dust baths (for parasite control), to fly onto low-hanging branches, to explore, and to have time to themselves.  Here are some dust bathers.  They are so funny to watch!

Can you imagine being stuck in a small apartment your whole life with 5 roommates, each of you with 2 square feet (or less!) of floor space, with 3 floors of apartments above you with wire mesh floors through which your neighbors dump their poop?  You'd lose your mind!!  And your health!  It's no wonder that these poor birds peck out each other's feathers out of sheer boredom and aggravation.  So let's add a little blood amidst all that poop, not to mention a wide variety of insects that like to inhabit such places.

So it's not entirely surprising that under such conditions, salmonella and other bacteria have a tendency to proliferate.  It's not a real stretch, to imagine, that birds who are stuck in such conditions might become unhealthy, and might develop illnesses themselves.

So next time you're in the grocery store, considering eggs, think about where they came from.  Think about the situation those hens are living in, and what those eggs are exposed to.  Make an informed choice.  Buy from a local farmer's market, or a local farm.  Get your own hens if you can.  The "big egg industry" can only be changed little by little, and it starts with consumer choices....with people like you.

In which I get an award! And for goats: Driving 101

The human says she is "losing the battle" this semester at school, and that she can not seem to catch up.  Again, she has put me in charge of the blog post today.  I know that really, she knows that I write better blog posts than she does, and that everybody would rather read stuff from me.  But, we won't tell her that.  It might upset her.

So guess what?!  I won an award!  Yes, I know, it's expected really, but I was particularly thrilled that this one came from Millie, over at Eden Hills.  Millie hasn't been feeling all that well lately you know.  She has said is actually a bit anemic.  The vet said so.  But she doesn't realize she spelled it wrong.  It's actually akneemic.  It's when you have a microphone implanted in your knee, usually by aliens.  Poor Millie was abducted by aliens one night, you see, and they put a microphone in her knee, and now they can hear everything she does.  And her knee hurts.  Anyway, I always avoid alien abductions and my knees are fine.  You should all go say Hi to Millie and wish her well.  They really should remove that microphone.

Anyway, Millie sent me the butterfly award!  Isn't that lovely?!

It's because I am dainty and beautiful, like a butterfly.  Thank you very much Millie!  I am honoured!  Claire said I have to choose who to send it to also, because her head is too full of too many other things to be able to make decisions.  I, of course, am a natural leader and decider of things.  Clearly, it should go to my dear friend Isobelle, because she is a very beautiful goat, like me, and sometimes her ears are sort of like butterflies.

I can't fly, personally, yet.  I am quite good at leaping and jumping though.  I think Isobelle is working on goat flight too.  But until we have that sorted out, I am learning to drive.  I thought I would give some tips to any other goats who wish to follow my lead.  Naturally, they will all want to follow my lead.

First, you must learn how to get into the vehicle in a dainty manner.  No leg flailing or anything else that would be unseemly for a beautiful goat.

Then, you have to survey your adoring fans from the seat of the vehicle, once you have entered it, because you know that they all want to see you.

That done, you should carefully inspect the surroundings in case there are leftover human foods to be had.  Unfortunately, there were none.  Oh, also get yourself into the driver's seat.

Driving requires three things - concentration, facing forward, and looking beautiful.  I'm still working on the concentration part.  The steering wheel is rather cumbersome for hoofed creatures.

You can always be a back seat passenger, if you prefer!  Except when the back seat is full of bags of fleece.

Also practice getting out of the car in a dainty manner.  And never, ever poop on the seats.

I suppose you want to know why there was all that fleece in the back seat.  Well, Claire went to a dye party with some of her friends who are all obsessed with sheep and goats and llamas and stuff.  She seemed very pleased with the results of her efforts.

I hope she doesn't decide to dye me anytime soon.

In particular, I do not want to be hung on a fence to dry.  Thank you all the same.

Wishing all you goats a lovely weekend from here in Iowa.  Goatie kisses from me.  

Unauthorized birth

This is Lucky Nickel, with an important announcement, I guess, if you listen to Claire that is, which I sort of do, when I have to...

Claire said I should do a blog about the new birth on the farm.  Did you hear that?  Yup...new birth.  And I know you're probably asking yourself right now...as I did....who authorized that?  Because let me tell you, I, Lucky Nickel, did NOT sign off on any paperwork on this.  I would definitely remember having done that, because it would have taken some deep goat thoughts on my part, to decide if I felt that was a good idea or not.  You remember the other llama baby we had back in January?  His name is Stormy.

Yeah, he's a lot bigger now, and I think he might have authorized it because they came from the same Dad.  You know, Kahlua, that big brown llama guy.  I think it was a conspiracy.

But, you know, Claire is the provider of the treats.  So I feel a little obligated about this "announcement" that she wants me to do.  I will try to be nice about it.

So, suddenly, before I even knew what was happening, there was a kerfuffle over towards the area of the llamas.  I could have told Claire what was going on, but ooooh no, she was in the house studying, and you know if you bother her while she is studying, she gets this mad face on and has a little fit and comes outside waving her arms around and complaining about too much bleating.  Well, I could have told her, but I thought better of it.

Later when she comes outside, she goes all ballistic about this thing in the llama pen.  I had to come over and pretend to be surprised.  "Oh gee, when did that get there?"

So Claire is just staring at it because she can't even believe it happened, and I'm waiting for her to get over her little moment of shock.  Humans can be so predictable.  She makes all kinds of squealing noises and rushes off to get the little black clicky box thing...she's obsessed with it.  Then she has to go pick up this wet, squirmy animal and announce to nobody in particular that it's a boy.  I mean, I already knew that, and the mother llama, Cabernet, already knew that too, so I don't know why Claire thought it was necessary, but anyway, she said it was a boy.

Seriously, look at this.  What is there to squeal about when this creature can't even stand properly on its own 4 feet?  How clumsy can an animal be?  I never did this...

Anyway, that first day was pretty boring, because Claire just kept coming down to look at it and squeal at it and I was totally being ignored.  Typical.  She gave it some milk too, out of MY BOTTLE!  I definitely never authorized that.  I would not want my bottle being contaminated by llama spit.  For some reason, I don't get my bottle any more.  I think Claire has forgotten.  I tried to get it when she was taking it to the llama and she told me to be good!  Can you imagine?!  I don't know what came over her.

So then today, it was a little better.  This morning, I went to check out the new arrival in more detail.  Did you know they call a baby llama a "cria?"  I mean, what kind of word is that?  Me, when I was a baby, I was a "kid."  Now that is a nice easy word.  Anyway, I was not at all sure about this cria thing.

He has kind of messy looking fur, and he isn't very graceful.  I am so attractive, it is hard for any creature to be measured against me, but really, this one is particularly awkward looking.  I think he needs to go to a groomer or something.

Claire was particularly excited this morning about the cria nursing by himself.  Big whoopie.  I prefer bottles.

After the cria nurses, he acts like it's some big accomplishment, because then he has to go have a little lie-down, as if it was an exhausting feat to do this simple task.  I know he's doing it for the attention.  He's just jealous of me.  But, his mom, Cabernet, she encourages it!  I mean, talk about LAZY!!!

The cria can't even do his own thing.  He has to look just like his mom.

The sheep were a little bit curious about it.  Really, you can't blame them.  Sheep are kind of dense that way.  They can never figure out what is going on and you can see here, they think that the cria is a lamb.  Even though none of them remember giving birth or anything, they figure it might be theirs.  I can't even imagine what goes on inside their heads...oh...well, nothing obviously.

Oh yeah.  Claire says the cria has "such beautiful eyes" and she looks all gooey when she says that, like she might melt or something.  Whatever.

Anyway, that's about all there is to say about it.  I don't see what the big deal is.  I mean, it's not like it's going to get to sleep in the house, like I did.  I was waaaay more special.  But I guess it's sort of cute.  Maybe.  If you like that sort of thing.

What do you mean by "too many shoes?"

Yesterday, and today, it was just too hot to be outside.  I couldn't do anything out with the animals, except take a few treats to her highness, Lucky Nickel.  Instead, I had to do indoor things.  Like shoe tidying.  OK, I admit it.  I have a few pairs of shoes.  Maybe quite a few.  But really, one cannot say that there can ever be "too many shoes" in a girl's closet, can one?

After all, there are many seasons, many colours, many styles, many reasons to have lots of choice when it comes to footwear.  As I was tidying my shoe racks today, and I thought I would take some shoe pictures, of a small selection of my...well...collection.  Right now, it's summer, so here are a few summer shoes in a flower pattern, to celebrate the season.  My favourites are probably the turquoise ones at 1 o'clock.  They are so comfy, and such a great colour.

I do have a tendency to go for the green.  It is my favourite colour, after all, and my shoe collection probably shows that tendency.  I seem to gravitate to all different shades of green - teal, olive, celery, peridot...you name it, I've probably got it.  Here, a few shoes in various shades of green.  The one second from the right is one of my pair of my pool shoes that I use for when I visit the swimming pool.

Even though it may not seem like it today, fall is on the way.  I don't seem to go for the green quite so much in my fall shoes.  I do like a nice pair of pumps though, and here's a little group of my fall shoes just waiting to be worn again.  Hang in there my little friends...the cooler weather is promising to come soon.

Soon enough, oh happy day....it will be boot weather!!  I love love love boots.  I think I might actually have more boots than shoes.  Is that weird?  Please tell me some of you also fall into the boot boat!  Here's a group of my fall season brown boots.  Because one can't possibly stop at a single pair of brown boots.  That would never, never do.  What about the one on the far left?  Oh....I'll get to that in a minute....

I also tend to go for fall shoes with slight boot-like characteristics.  I absolutely adore those red ones on the far left.  They are quite possibly my favourite fall pair.  That cooler weather can't come soon enough!

Not to be missed are the short height boots, which are definitely also favourites of mine.  I just can't quite get enough of them.  All summer long, I look at them longingly in their storage tubs in the basement, just waiting for the big closet rotation, when I can put away all the summer stuff and get out the fall wardrobe.  I just bought the ones with the little buttons last week - my new indulgence for the coming fall.  Very Victorian, I think.

Overall though, I do have an absolute favourite pair, and in my opinion, they are quite unusual.  These boots were purchased in about 1990, if I recall correctly.  They're entirely tapestry fabric, except for the sole of course.  They go right up to my knee, and have an optional fold-down flap at the top.  Incredibly comfortable, and fabulously expressive.  I'm so very glad I didn't resist them at the time.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a shoe catalogue that came in the mail today, and I really must go take a look....because I don't think I have any green boots.

A fair evening!

I went to the Iowa State Fair on Wednesday evening with a friend of mine whose husband is allergic to animals.  She doesn't get to see the animal exhibits usually, so we went to check them out, and of course, they're my favourite part of the fair!  All in all, it was a great evening, even though there were not as many sheep as I would have liked to see, and it was very hot and muggy, which was a bit uncomfortable.  I also didn't take my camera, but I did take my brand, spanking new Blackberry!  It has a camera that did a reasonably good job, so I shall share the few photo memories of the fair for 2010 right here!

Of course, I had to visit with the biggest ram of the show.  He was huge, tired, and very friendly.  Mostly he just lay down, although he did get up for a while to have a bit of a fuss before I left.  I gave him chest scrubbies and said nice things about him and he didn't so much as snort in my direction.  I think he was too hot.

The baby piglets were very cute, and very small, and also very tired.  Did I mention that it was really hot at the fair?  I was kind of disturbed, as I usually am, by the farrowing pen set up.  It really bothers me that sows are only able to stand up and lay down.  They can't even turn around in gestation crates.  The traditional excuse is that they will lay down on their piglets otherwise, but studies have shown that given ample space, that does not typically happen.  So why not just give them proper space, instead of forcing them to lay down or stand up in the same space for months on end.  I'm an unapologetic critic of confining pigs.

This year's baby ostrich were much bigger than last year's "fluffy bowling ball on legs" ostrich babies.  Still, they are really cute.

It is illegal in Iowa (well, almost illegal) to go to the State Fair and not go to see the butter cow.  The cow is sculpted entirely out of butter and is a marvel of art and physics.  Sorry for the glare in the photo but it's hard to avoid.  I love her tail!  In case you can't tell, she's definitely life sized.  Amazingly, the butter cow did not appear to be too hot.

I had never previously noticed that when pigs lay down, their legs don't stay touching the ground.  If I saw a sheep in my pasture in this pose, I would be very, very worried.  Most animals keep at least a portion of all their legs on the ground.  Not so with the pigs.  I think they were rather overheated though....

My friend Jordan and I were amazed at the size of some of the horses - especially the Percherons.  Here's Jordan standing next to a very, very large horse.  Their feet are absolutely enormous.  I wonder if I could get one to help me with plowing here on the farm?!

Moving on from the livestock, we come to things for the stock pot!  Yum!  Look at this size of this wonderful squash!  It was huge, and had the delighful variety name of "Red Warty Thing."  I would like to try growing this one next year!

Also, there were some very large cabbages to be seen.

But as I've said, it was really hot, so Jordan and I had to find something nice and cooling to do.  That's where the amazing Bauder's Pharmacy Peppermint Ice Cream Bar comes into its prime.  This thing is a true work of art.  A beautiful thing to behold on a hot day.  Peppermint ice cream, fudge sauce, and crushed Oreos.  Yes, bliss on a spoon.

And then, not to be gluttonous, but a wine-a-rita was the perfect way to top it off.  Wine with crushed ice and berry mix all made into a sort of slushy thing.  Yum.

Hey...Lucky Nickel...where did you come from?  What are you doing in the house??  What are....  ACK!  Mmmff..mfff...fmmmm..

There.  I tied her up with baling twine.  I know how to use my hooves.  I am Ninja Goat!!  Can you believe all this blathering on about the fair....and the very obvious lack of discussion of GOATS?!  Yeah, well check out the evidence I found on her precious Blackberry....

She's having friendly relations with OTHER GOATS!!!  Entire pens full of them!  Look at this!  Despicable.  Oh, and I heard her saying how cute they all were, and friendly too, and I could SMELL GOAT on her hands!  Yes I could!!  

Even with those stupid earless La Mancha goats!  Look at this picture.  It's clear she is madly in love with this goat.  Where is the justice, I ask you?

And then.  THEN!  Most shocking of ALL!  
LOOK AT THE IDEAS SHE IS GETTING FROM THESE STATE FAIR PEOPLE!!!!!
I am telling you right now, that I am NEVER having my udder shaved.  If I ever have an udder.  This is just plain indecency.  I demand a retraction from the Editor.

Oh wait.  I am the Editor.  Claire thinks she is the Editor but she is wrong.  Well, as Editor, I hereby forbid this sort of behaviour on Whispering Acres Farm.  I'm leaving Claire tied up for a while, until she knows I'm serious.  I am the Spokesgoat and the Ultimate Goat and the Divine Goat and the only goat that is really needed here.  I tolerate the other goats here, but this....this....flagrant fawning over other people's goats must stop.  And any ideas about udder shaving are just a non starter.  


Next year maybe I'll enter Claire in the State Fair and see what she thinks of it then.  Hmpf.  Now...where did I put my bag of peanuts?